![]() "You're the best thing I never knew I needed. You and me and five bucks." – Reality BitesĢ2. A couple smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. I'd be lost without you." – Hold EverythingĢ1. I like to think those atoms travelled 14 billion years through time and space to create us so that we could be together and make each other whole. "We are made of particles that existed since the moment the universe began. I just got stuck." – Silver Linings Playbookġ9. I'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up. "Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now…because I love you." – Groundhog Dayġ2. "Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide, but I love you until the end of time." – Moulin Rougeġ1. "So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you." – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemistġ0. And it would destroy me to have you just a little." – Rae Carson, The Crown of Embersĩ. "I love you the way a drowning man loves air. "I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you." – Ben Folds, "The Luckiest"Ħ. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." – Pride and Prejudiceĥ. "You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. Unity can only happen when both parties take down their guards.4. Oftentimes our survival strategies trigger our partner’s vulnerability, and therefore their own survival strategy. This then this kicks up your survival strategy-perhaps its “fixing” the problem by denying its reality? If this is the case, she might be masking it with her survival strategy of control. Perhaps your girlfriend’s vulnerability is rejection or being unlovable. Unity can only happen when both parties take down their guards, so let’s help you and your girlfriend do this. Survival strategies might look like lashing out, trying to control, eye-rolling, or getting defensive. We all have vulnerabilities and survival strategies to protect those vulnerabilities from being exposed. Be open to your partner's vulnerabilities and survival strategies by sharing your own Exploring how her feelings potentially involve you could be the very thing that helps you deal with a jealous partner.Ģ. ![]() If we hit an impasse repeatedly or run into the same conflict, we can assume the dynamic is being co-created, and if you don’t change your role, my guess is you will continue to feel stuck and fed up. But since you cannot control your girlfriend or her behaviors, you must look at your role in the pattern. In our relationships, we wish the other person would change their behavior to ease our pain or suffering. Sometimes when we feel threatened, we try to control the world around us to manage the insecurity within us. Given that you are the one who is writing in about your distress, I will speak to your responsibility in taking action. And while I totally validate that this is a strategy that may pose harm to relationships, it doesn’t absolve you from looking at the part you play in what might be making you fed up. ![]() It sounds like what is making you “fed up,” is not your girlfriend’s feeling, but how the feeling is resulting in her attempt to veer into the lane of your autonomy and control your behavior. One of the reasons jealousy is so tricky to address is because the emotion itself isn’t a problem, but how we react to it can create major problems. ![]()
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